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| Rev it up and ride By Greg Smith Volume 49, No. 1, February 8, 2007 |
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As the Air Commander, AVM John Quaife, drove him for a lap of honour around RAAF Base Glenbrook, SGT Parker reflected on eight years of mostly Sydney traffic chaos, lousy drivers and fast food. The former supply clerk, who is returning to his original mustering with Defence National Storage and Distribution Centre at Moorebank, said he wasn’t sure why four Air Commanders had kept hiring him. However, one suspects it could be that he never once missed a pick-up, but also in part due to his dry acerbic wit, which he used to great effect on first meeting new bosses. “On every first drive, when I came up to the first set of traffic lights, I always asked them what colour they were, because I’m colour blind,” SGT Parker said. “It really threw them. But I really am colour blind. Not that it matters, because fortunately I can see red.” The position of ACAUST’s driver is usually a three-year posting: long enough, you’d think, for someone to tire of the role. But not SGT Parker. “I’ve had a great time, even though it has meant some unusual hours,” he said. “The bonus is that you get to see many facets of the Air Force and meet people from all walks of life. “The downside is that I’ve had to put up with some pretty lousy drivers.” Having driven for different ACAUSTs, SGT Parker has seen their non-official sides. However, ever the diplomat – one of the job’s prerequisites – he won’t comment, except to say that one former ACAUST had the habit of constantly judging his driving. Some of the areas SGT Parker became an “expert” on included Sydney carparks and fast-food outlets. “I almost thought about writing a ratings guide to Sydney’s carparks,” he said. “I certainly can tell you where it’s best to avoid, and that the best chips and gravy are at Sutton’s Forest, half-way between Sydney and Canberra. But you can’t beat Harry’s Café De Wheels near Garden Island.” While the position is demanding in terms of hours spent at the wheel, traffic stress and odd hours, SGT Parker always kept his PT gear in the boot. “There’s nothing better than going to the gym to get rid of the stress, and fighting off the chips and gravy,” he said. “That said, it can get dicey. I was once locked in the gym at Garden Island at night. I guess with the hours I keep, no one was expecting someone to be working out at 9pm.” From the sound of it, it seems that life can be tedious. However, that’s certainly not the case. “There was always something to keep me on my toes,” he said. “Avoiding a sheet of plywood on the M4, not having an ID to enter Learmonth just after 9/11 and having to wake ACAUST’s aides de camp tested my driving and verbal skills.” And what was SGT Parker’s fondest memory? “For sure it was getting the current Chief of Air Force promoted to the job,” he said with a wink and a laugh. “Certainly I distinctly recall him celebrating it in the back of the car with a cheeseburger and a glass of red.” |
