Cream of the crop rises to the top

By Michael Weaver

Navy’s tight five display the form that won them the Grunt 3000 scrum contest. The Navy team was WOET Simon Kelly, LCDR Chris “Gimp” Oldham, LEUT Darryn Thompson, LEUT Andrew Hawke and ABMT(E) Heath. POPH: Bill McBride

Five Navy rugby union enthusiasts have won their own slice of the Rugby World Cup by claiming victory in the Grunt 3000 scrum competition, as part of HG and Roy’s Channel Seven television show The Cream.

Furthermore, the Navy tight five also beat Army in the final and broke the scrum machine during the preliminary rounds.

The competition involved eight sides including Navy, Army, Fire Brigade, Police, Ambulance, Surf Lifesaving, a Sydney University Women’s side and a team from the Eastwood Colts Rugby Club disguised as ASIO agents.

Their aim was to roll the Grunt 3000 scrum machine attached to a bungy cord as far as possible. The competition started three weeks ago, with Navy up against the Fire Brigade and Ambulance services.

It was here that the Navy side stretched the machine to its limits, breaking the cord and going down in history with the New Zealand All Blacks as the only teams to break the machine.

With only one scrum machine in Australia, the action was rescheduled for a second filming, where Navy went on to claim victory against the Police and then Army’s A Field Battery team in the final.

Navy pulled a force of 152 to Army’s 139 for a convincing win. Team member and former RAN Rugby Union manager, WOET Simon Kelly, said Navy was approached by producers from The Cream and had little trouble finding a tight five with front-row form.

“It was all done in jest and we had a lot of fun,” said WO Kelly. “We basically jumped at any opportunity to get on TV.”

For the effort, Navy won an enlarged replica of the Webb Ellis Trophy, which will sit in the rugby museum at HMAS Kuttabul, while the scrum machine is donated to a winning school.

The final footage is expected to screen on Channel Seven’s The Cream on November 20.

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