VALE
LCDR Terry Nealer RAN
Exchange Officer USS Boxer

Colleagues remember LCDR Terry Nealer.

I just can’t say enough good things about this continent! Pulling into Sydney Harbour was amazing. The Aussies really put out the red carpet for us, and it was a triumphant homecoming for Terry Nealer, our exchange officer.

The crew manned the rails coming into port, and Terry and I held an Australian flag stretched out so his family could spot him from the pier. In the process we attracted quite a bit of media attention from the film crews as well.

The highpoint of our arrival had to be when one of Terry’s mates arrived in a small motor boat with Terry’s dog (an English Cocker Spaniel), and tried to approach USS Boxer as part of the unofficial welcoming committee. The Sydney Harbour Police were keeping a pretty tight lid on things as part our overall anti-terrorism force protection posture, so they intercepted the boat immediately.

Wanting to leave nothing to chance, the boat was boarded and searched thoroughly, and both dog and human were thoroughly frisked. They paid particular attention to the life vest the dog was wearing, making sure it wasn’t rigged with explosives. The one paper I read had a good-natured field day with that little episode the next day.

Our first day out of Townsville headed for Hawaii, Terry suffered a massive heart attack while working out in our ship’s gym. He was only 39. We were still close enough to Australia to turn back and fly him home the next day. We had his memorial service on the hangar deck of USS Boxer on the same day that his baby daughter had her first birthday. We videotaped the ceremony, and included some interviews from people who knew him well. His daughter, Olivia, will never know her father, but we wanted her to have some record of this that she can understand when she gets older.

Terry was the one bit of sanity on the staff. We have had some difficult times, and there was more than one occasion where I think being able to make jokes with Terry was my one remaining link with sanity. We had a morning ritual where we both had our toast and vegemite, much to the horror of those around us. Between the two of us, we went through a whole jar over the course of the deployment in The Gulf.

In Townsville I bought a 2-CD collection titled “The Essential Aussie Songbook” and for the last two days I had been grilling Terry on the meanings of all the words in the songs I didn’t understand. At lunch, we had a long discussion on whether the words to the third verse of “Waltzing Matilda” were right or not—the song on the CD said that troopers accompanied the Squatter (riding on his thoroughbred), but the printed words with the CD called them policemen. We had resolved to get a magnifying glass out that evening and look on the currency to solve the mystery once and for all (you have to love a nation that puts the words to their favourite song on the back of their $10 bill.)

This whole conversation took place, with everyone else in the mess wondering what the hell we were talking about. I was changing into my uniform for dinner, already rehearsing in my mind what questions I was going to tease him with during our meal, when I heard them call “medical emergency” over the 1MC.

I am devastated. I can still hear his voice and see his smile clearly. This morning, one of the Aussie midshipmen went by the open door of my stateroom. I caught his grey uniform out of the corner of my eye and for a moment, just a fleeting moment I was about to holler some smart-assed comment at Terry again and wait for his response.

It’s ironic, miserably so, to think just 24 hours earlier, we were in a Townsville pub congratulating ourselves that we had lost nobody from Boxer during the war.

Life is precious, and it can end so quickly, without warning. Terry was a gentle soul who, though I’m sure wasn’t ready to go, was certainly prepared to. We keep his seat in the Flag Mess empty, containing just a framed photograph of him and a jar of vegemite at his setting. We will miss him terribly. – Jim

CDR Jim “Abe” Sebastian
PHIBRON ONE N8
TACRON 11 Det 3 OIC

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