Console Corner XBox
Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball
Microsoft www.xbox.com/doaxb/opendoax.html

Reach for the freak alarm. Photo from the web site

OK … I’ll admit from the very beginning, I don’t get it. I seriously do not understand the attraction.

In fact I’m leaning towards thinking anyone (adult males particularly) who actually likes this needs to get out a bit more.

Carnage I can handle, driving cars way too fast, flying planes, even just virtually thumping the hell out of someone’s else’s character is fine, but this latest game from Japanese gaming giant Tecmo and Microsoft pushes the big flashing loud “FREAK” alarm for me.

Beach volleyball – that doesn’t sound too bad, world class athletes, amazing skills, a decent soundtrack – hey it could be Bondi in 2000 all over again.

Instead Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball has become a freaky, voyeuristic, old man perving at the beach style game.

The basic plot reads straight out of some weirdo European porn flick. Zack, the mega rich freak buys an island and decides to turn it into the ultimate adult’s playground and resort.

Once he’s done a bit of land clearing he invites guests to his island.

Oh, wouldn’t you know it they’re all girls and they have nothing else to do but compete in beach volleyball comp – I think most of you know where the story will go from there.

What I found even stranger was use of the Dead or Alive licence.

This long-running series is usually about kicking, punching and throwing opponents in a series of hard-fought contests.
In this volleyball version, the heroines with the ninja moves are forced to play volleyball – but wait that’s not all.

When pounding a ball gets tiring, they can sit around a hotel and let the player buy them pretty things such as bunny ears or new bikinis to wear in the next match.

It’s the sort of thing a pre-adolescent girl who still wants a pony and listens to Brittany might feasibly enjoy.

As a volleyball game it’s not too bad – in fact it can be quite challenging as viewing angles make it quite difficult.

Of course not giving your character’s partner the right gift – the wrong colour bikini, cat’s ears instead of bunny ears or even sunscreen with too high an SPF (“Christie … I told you I wanted to get a tan!”) can cause them to drop their standards and guarantee a loss.

Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball is a freaky game, based on a freaky concept for freaky people … with an MA rating of course.

In plain English

By PTE Simone Heyer

People who use writing to communicate on a daily basis know the importance of being clear and concise.
And it’s not just news writing. This theory extends to letters, minutes, presentations and manuals – anything that is meant to convey information.

Although we know the theory, it can sometimes be forgotten in the haste of deadlines.

Along comes Style Writer: The Plain English Editor.

This program is installed on your computer and sits on the Microsoft Word bar.
During or after writing, you can open the program, and automatically check the document.

Style Writer then offers writing style solutions – picking up grammatical errors, discriminatory language and redundant words – among other features.

You can set Style Writer to different specifications to fit the type of document, be it letter, assignment, report and so on.
This program was developed in the UK, and is distributed in Australia by Paul Porter. All technical support is from Australia.

According to a US Government web site, rewriting on letter in plain English helped to save $40,000 a year.
By using Style Writer, people will save time writing, save time reading and save money on printing costs.

It’s win-win all around.

It just goes to show that everyone understands plain English.
Prices vary between the number of licences required. A single licence costs $250.