Army was greeted with the following answer phone messages at RAAF HQ and RAN HQ this week…

“This is Airforce. We cannot take your call at the moment but if your concern is in a distant country, with a tropical climate, good hotels and can be solved with a few low-risk humanitarian food drops with maximum PR please press # and leave a message.
Please note this service is not available after 4.30pm or at weekends.”

“This is Navy. We can not take your call at the moment but if your problem can be resolved by a grey funnel, some bunting, flags, a damn good cocktail party and a first class marching band, please write 28 days in advance to Maritime HQ, Sydney.”

Are you the unit clown and know a good joke?
You can contribute to our Only Joking column by simply e-mailing your publishable jokes with a military theme to armynews@defencenews.gov.au