Once upon a time there were 220 sailors on a warship called HMAS Canberra.

Their job was to patrol The Gulf to stop the 'baddies' selling oil illegally to other 'baddies' so they could buy weapons of mass destruction.

The patrols were intense. There was a need for some light hearted fun.

"Let's have a Jack in the Beanstalk competition," suggested some.

"What do ya mean?" enquired others.

"Let's see who can grow the tallest, greenest or healthiest bean plant using only what we have on the ship.

"In particular we can't use soil.

"We can raise money for the ship's ball into the bargain."

"Let's do it," was the decision.

And so the ship's departments got to work.

Bean seeds were scrounged from the galley and different growing media prepared.

The Flight Officers were soon flaunting sprightly plants.

Like all Birdies, and Jack himself, they wanted to get into the air overnight.

As a result they were very protective of their sprouting 'veggies'.

"You can see, but don't touch 'em," was the declaration to all.

Down in the machinery spaces, where there's not much natural light, the stokers were said to be using ultra violet lamps to nurture their beans.

Even the commanding officer had put his green thumb to work.

He'd been very successful and was very proud of his 'Young Bean'.

But as Jack found when he climbed the beanstalk, there's often a 'nasty' lurking about.

Someone pinched the CO's pride and joy, 'Young Bean'.

The ship's email system sprang to life.

A ransom demand had been placed for 'Young Bean's' return.

"What is the captain going to do?" Was the question on everyone's lips.

He was going to do nothing. No payment at all.

Bits and pieces of 'Young Bean' started arriving in the ship's mail.

The bean-napper was putting the pressure on.

The CO was resisting the pressure. No ransom would be forthcoming.

With judging day fast approaching the CO, with the law on his side, sent a team of 'sleuths' to find 'Young Bean' and bring him home.

Initial suspicion was directed towards the captain's Beagle (his chief steward).

"Not her," was the verdict.

Her own beans died the night before judging.

Judgement day arrived and there was much excitement as an assortment of plants were brought out.

Some were proudly displayed, others secretly covered.

Was the CO's bean there?

Alas, no.

"Gone AWOL," was the decree.

Even today his fate remains shrouded in mystery.

As for the end to this fairy tale?

Well ... organisers think that should they have a similar competition in the future they will include a category for the "most original disaster to befall a bean" considering the state of some of the beans to face the judges.

In the end a few dollars were raised for the ship's ball and a bit of fun was had by all.

A fairy tale from The Gulf by LSET Jo - aided and abetted by Graham Davis