Trauma - Managing Mental Health Reactions to Major Disasters and Traumas

Tips for Deployed Troops on Communicating Back Home…

One of the hardest things to do on a deployment involving a disaster or potentially traumatic events is finding a way of communication about what you have seen and done to the people back in Australia. Your loved ones (or family and friends) at home are hoping that you are safe and well and need to be reassured that the things you are doing are not dangerous. At the same time these people are you primary support and you probably want to talk to them about what you’re doing, what it’s like and what you’re feeling. How do you talk about your experiences of the operation, in order to be able to let it out? Where do you start? Importantly, how do you do this safely? How do you begin to try and make people at home understand without distressing them too much?

It’s not easy, but there are some things that can make it easier...

• Prepare: everything goes better if we put some time into preparation. Simple preparation like writing a list of the things you want to say on the phone. Even thinking about how "best" to put things ( maybe some of the more emotive or important personal messages you want to convey) and writing out key phrases. Also making a list of things you should avoid saying so as not to cause undue anxiety (e.g., "one of the guys was put in hospital yesterday with food poisoning...") by talking about things that the people at home didn't need to know.

Some of you may be worried that you may traumatise your loved ones if you talk about your experiences. It is in fact important to be balanced in your approach and careful about how much detail you discuss. However, you can talk about your reactions and feelings without revealing too many of the distressing details.

• Remember their perspective: keep in mind that you are talking about your experiences to people who’s only source of information and link to what you’re going through has been through the Australian media. They may have been seeing only the worst footage and the most tragic stories, they may have endured in-depth "specials". These media reports can result in families being overly concerned for your safety.

• Also consider that the people at home may be feeling overwhelmed and compassioned-out after having been confronted with visions of the disaster or conflict every night on their TVs. They may seem, as a result, a little disinterested in what you have to say about the disaster or deployment. If this happens, focus on what you’re doing and other aspects of the ADF’s presence there as a lead in to talking about what you want to talk about.

• For everyone at home, their understanding of what is happening in the disaster area is based on what they have seen on the TV. This may equate with what you are experiencing or it may not. Certainly, it is very difficult to grasp the extent of a disaster of this type through TV and so it may be hard for them to understand what you are trying to explain. Better to focus on your feelings and how you are reacting to the experiences that you are having. Most important is to talk about how the different things that you have experienced have triggered various emotions. For example, you may have been struck by the sight of a child and this triggered thoughts about your own children, thoughts that upset you. These are the important things to talk about with your partner, friends and family at home.

• Because you are away, various things may have changed at home to compensate for your absence: your flat-mate may have got a cat for company, your best friend may be hanging out with other people much more, your partner may have rearranged the bedroom….remember, these changes may not be permanent and things might return to normal when you return. It is the other person’s attempt to cope with your absence. Don’t be critical of these changes. Wait till you return to decide whether they are changes for good or not.

• 60% of our communication is through non-verbals: facial expressions, hand actions, body posture, touch. When we use the phone, e-mail or letters we need to be aware that we are communicating without these other means. Be careful to clarify jokes and other "witticisms" that may be ambiguous to another person who is anxious and preoccupied with your safety and a long way away.

• For events that you believe may be too distressing to discuss while you are deployed or that you believe would be too upsetting to friends and family, consider keeping a diary or journal. Mental health professionals have found this can have a very healing effect and allow you to start to understand your reactions. This a record you might want to share later with family and friends or just keep for it for you or your personal records.

• Finally, this is not the best time to be making life-altering decisions and discussing your intention to "climb Everest" when you return. Just get safely home first, then reassess the situation.

Remember if you really need to talk to someone while on deployment you can approach the unit chaplain or med/psych support teams. Additionally there are a range of services in Australia for members, families and Defence civilians.

23 September, 2008