Trauma - Managing Mental Health Reactions to Major Disasters and Traumas

Information on Children of Deployed Personnel

This section contains information that may be useful to carers of children where parent is deployed. It is important in this circumstance to ensure that you:

• Offer reassurance, where reasonable, that their parent (deployed member) is relatively safe and taking appropriate care on the deployment.
• Facilitate communication between the children and the deployed member where feasible and reasonable. This will help to normalise the parent’s absence and provide reassurance to the child.
• Limit the children’s exposure to media coverage of the deployment (see next section).
• Highlight the positive aspects of what the member is doing (i.e. helping people in distress).
• Encourage the children to also help, by getting involved with fundraising or other goodwill activities.

Be aware that children display distress in ways that may be different to adults. Therefore be alert to signs or symptoms of distress such as:

• attention and concentration problems
• clinging or dependent behaviour
• fearfulness at night and sleep disturbance
• general misbehaviour or "naughtiness"
• physical aches and pains
• social withdrawal

It is important to recognise that the above features may be part of an emotional response to the member’s absence or fear for their safety, rather than willful behaviour. Therefore it is important not to become angry or blame the child for this behaviour.

• Parents can help by:
• Keep talking to the child about how they are feeling, preventing them from feeling alone and misunderstood
• Reassure them that:
  • they are safe and cared for
  • the deployed parent is relatively safe and taking care (where reasonable)
• Allow the expression of emotion
  
• Do enjoyable activities together with them
  
• Find ways for the children to feel that they are contributing to the deployment (fundraising, letter writing)

When to seek assistance:

If the child’s reactions are particularly severe or prolonged, contact the Defence Community Organisation who can help you get professional assistance.

QUICK TIPS: Information on Children of Deployed Personnel

How do I respond to children’s special needs? Listen - to their fears Reassure - that they are safe and the deployed parent is as safe as possible Communicate - let the child express their emotions Play - participate in activities the child enjoys with them Doing something to help Children and young people can be helped by feeling there is something they can do to help. This helps to give a sense of control when things are overwhelming. This could be, for example: attending a church service or other spiritual ceremony for the victims writing a letter of sympathy and support giving toys, food or clothing raising money for the victims or for organisations which support peace volunteering their time in whatever way will be helpful and let them see you helping as well.